Key Steps for a Happy Marriage in the New Year

Now that a new year has begun, perhaps you'll want to use this opportunity to make positive changes. Most individuals think only of themselves, their children, their jobs, their health and fitness, and similar matters while setting resolutions for the following year. While doing so is perfectly okay, your marriage is one part of your life that you shouldn't ignore.

Marriage is a significant life milestone for every couple. It is the cornerstone of society, and it traditionally starts with a public vow to spend the rest of one's life with one's partner through good times and bad. Unfortunately, over half of all marriages end in divorce after twenty years, and over 20% of new marriages don’t live to celebrate their fifth anniversary.

No one gets married to divorce. Even though in some cases it is necessary, if you don’t fit this category and what your marriage to thrive, read below a few steps that may helpful in creating the marriage you desire.

Step #1: Fine-Tune Your Communication Abilities. Set Aside Time to Have Frank Conversations.

Ineffective communication is a contributing factor in about 68% of all divorces. Most people have the mistaken belief that having a conversation with their significant other should be easy. The reality is a little murkier than that, however. When you've been with the same person for a long time, it's easy to fall into unhealthy habits, especially if that person is your spouse. It's easy to tune out or respond coldly when someone starts discussing a topic you'd rather not discuss.

Whatever challenges you have communicating, now is a great time to work on it. One element of good communication skills is listening. To really connect as a pair, it's crucial that you take the time to hear each other out. Getting out of the house for a while could help. Initiate regular get-togethers centered on sharing positive affirmations and making each other a priority.

Step #2: Learn to Express Gratitude by Practicing Frequent "Thank You" Expressions.

Present-day culture has literally elevated marriage-related grumbling to the level of an Olympic sport. One sure way to be unhappy in a relationship is to have unrealistic expectations of your partner or to compare your relationship to those of other couples. Instead, please show your appreciation for the other person frequently and for the positive contributions they make to the relationship. Focus on the positive aspects of your partner's behavior rather than frequently focusing on flaws. 

 Give your partner credit when they do things around the house such as preparing dinner, helping kids with schoolwork, or running errands. Taking time each night to express appreciation for the other person might help keep the relationship strong. Even a short message on your phone to say "thank you" may go a very long way in this day and age.

Step #3: Have Alone Time Together as A Couple.

It is easy for romance to fizzle out when two people have to focus on careers and family responsibilities. Make plans for a special evening together-and keep this in rotation. Send the kids out on a play date so you can spend some adult time together.

 There must have been many sensual and delightful encounters for the emotional bond you once shared or have in the past. Make time for dates, cuddling, having fun, getting dressed up, and going on romantic trips, among other romantic things, to keep the spark alive.

Step #4: Don't Worry Too Much About the Little Things.

Disputes about who did the laundry last, who took out the garbage, or who cleaned the bathroom are prevalent. There's a reason why these kinds of arguments have become trite. A Yelp survey found that 80% of Americans who live with a spouse and share household chores have fights over who should do what around the home. It's a new year; perhaps it's time to stop worrying about the little things-and maybe finding a solution that pleases both sides.

 No one wants or expects to be treated like a kid in a romantic partnership. So micromanaging is a no-no. What's important is that you both feel safe enough to be yourself while still being able to voice your wants and needs.

Step #5: Build Trust

Marriages are vulnerable to the toxic effects of criticism, scorn, defensiveness, and backpedaling. More often than not, couples that participate in these behaviors end up getting divorced. Decades of study and counseling have proven that happily married couples can disagree without being nasty. They consistently choose to accept responsibility for their behavior. Moreover, they are more inclined to act quickly to make up and mend fences after an argument.

Step #6: Make Time for Sex.

New relationships can be very passionate. However, as time goes on, things will gradually begin to calm. It's a mistake to think that sex will happen on its own, especially after the eros period, which usually lasts between six months and two years after marriage. After you "win" your spouse, you often tend to return to your everyday life with friends, work, or hobbies, only to find that the sex is gone.

 Sex alone is not enough to sustain a marriage, however it is just as important as other areas. You can only expect your relationship to go well if you first feel close and intimate. One of the ways you and your partner may get closer is through sex. Regular sex between spouses improves health, strengthens bonds, and it also reduces stress. And might we add that it’s fun!

Step #7. Learn To Forgive

Think about an instance when you showed forgiveness. How did you feel about yourself before and after you made the decision to forgive? Also, think of a moment when you received forgiveness for something. What emotions were evoked by this? How did it affect you?

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. It's possible that your partner has done something to offend you or hurt your emotions, which might make you irritated or even enraged. But it is vital to confront your feelings, and discuss them with your partner. Allow yourself to be open with your frustrations and collaborate on how you both can move forward. Also, refrain from bringing up the past in every conversation (need I explain why?).

Conclusion

Many happy couples may vouch for the truth of the above arguments. These recommendations can help you save your marriage and enjoy a great and rewarding life together.

However, marital therapy might be helpful if you've tried these things but your marriage has yet to thrive. If you and your other half are growing apart or are unfulfilled with your marriage but still want to work on saving it, marriage counseling might be a helpful tool.